


darling open your eyes

by malumqt (snowboy)



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Protective Calum, also michael has like a lowkey freak out, but it snowballed into this, by the end he doesn't, calum is technically a boxer but it's barely mentioned, honestly idk what to tag, idek where to begin with tags, idk calum has amnesia but not really???, michael is just a smol bean in this, originally this was me writing a possible ending to a fic i'm working on, past memories are a theme in this, pastel michael, there's lowkey angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-22 07:16:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6070126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowboy/pseuds/malumqt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This memory where everything looks so real and vibrant, but also like a special moment Calum shouldn't be witnessing. He was in it and so was pastel boy, but Calum didn't feel part of it. It didn't feel like something that happened to him. He could see it, feel it, know every single detail about how it felt, but it felt distant and like a stranger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	darling open your eyes

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from open your eyes by bobby caldwell because i keep listening carlos valdes singing it. it's a good song and i'm not good with making titles soooo

The bright blinding of the light over head, the white speckled ceiling and just that content beeping all told Calum that he was in a hospital. He couldn't remember how he got here or even why he was here. 

The last thing he remembers is soft lilac hair, a round face with the prettiest forest green eyes, and pink plum lips. The eyes showing so much emotion. Scared, concern, worry. Calum wanted to comfort this person, get those eyes sparkling with happiness, but who was the boy?

Calum turned over in the hospital bed, sharp pain shooting through his head and ribs. A small cry escaped his lips, his hands clutching onto the thin bed sheet over him and eyes shutting tight as he waited for it to calm down.

Once he reopened his eyes as the pain dulled down to an ache, he was met with the prettiest forest green eyes. It was the boy. Only now those eyes had a flicker of hope that was growing stronger by the second.

"Hi." Calum mumbled, his voice horse and throat burning like a fire. He felt like he hasn't drunken water in weeks. The burning in his throat was bearable, but some water would be great.

Water wasn't what he got first. First he got a hug, for a split second the pretty pastel boy was about to go for a bone crushing hug, but lightened up the instant a small whimper came from Calum.

"Cal! How are you feeling? Do you need anything? Ashton and Luke should be coming any minute now too." The boy spoke quickly, Calum did his best to listen and come up with a clear answer, but nothing was coming. Just water, all he needed was water right now.

"Water?" He mumbled softly. So softly that he feared the pastel boy hadn't heard him, but a glass of water being handed to him in a moment proved otherwise.

In the middle of drinking two boys entered, one Calum recognized. Ashton, although his hair was shorter and bit curly than before. The tall lanky blond next to him though, absolutely no clue.

"Hey Ash." Calum croaked. His throat was still scratchy and burned a little, but he already felt much better from the water. "What's going on?"

"What do you remember?" Ashton countered. He was chewing on his bottom lip, something that he only ever did when he was nervous.

"Nothing, I hurt like fuckin' hell and I don't know why." Calum spoke, but what he said just made Ashton glance over at pastel boy.

"Last thing you remember?" Ashton questioned or more like demanded. His hazel eyes were still locked on pastel boy who was keeping his head down. Blue skinny jean clad legs had folded up to his chest. The boy picking at a rip in it.

A memory came rushing back of that same boy only in a pale pink over sized sweater and pajama bottoms sitting at the end of a couch, ignoring a horror movie. Flinching at all the screams, sounds, music changes.

Calum could see himself, on the other side of the couch watching with furrowed brows and a tight lip. Something he knew he only did when he was deciding to do something risky or not.

Then dream Calum pulled the pastel boy's body to him, wrapping an arm protectively around his shoulders. The boy buried his head into Calum's side. His fists clutching to the fabric of Calum's muscle tee and soft shimmers escaping his mouth.

Dream Calum played with the boy's hair while leaving the movie and putting on some anime show. As soon as the first note of the theme played, the boy's forest green eyes peaked open. A smile crossing his once frowning features, but then all too soon it turned into a pout. Worried covered the forest eyes as the boy looked up at him.

"What about your movie?" The pastel boy asked. But dream Calum just chuckled softly and ruffled the lilac hair of the boy.

"I'll watch it later. Should've told me you didn't like horror movies." His tone playful. Neither of them seemed to be actually paying attention to the show at that moment.

The pastel boy's pout had gotten deeper and he stuck out his bottom lip further. "I don't mind them." He tried to defend himself, before exhaling a sigh and leaning his head onto Calum's shoulder. "I didn't want you to think I was lame and couldn't handle it."

Dream Calum continued playing with his hair, a soft hum in his voice. "You don't need to impress me, Mikey. You're already the coolest video game designer I know."

"I'm the only one you know and I haven't even designed a proper game yet. I'm just a student." The boy pointed out with an airy giggle. And shit, was that the cutest giggle Calum had ever heard. It was like bells, small and soft, but the most beautiful thing to hear. Calum wanted to hear that giggle in real life and not just in this memory.

This memory where everything looks so real and vibrant, but also like a special moment Calum shouldn't be witnessing. He was in it and so was pastel boy, but Calum didn't feel part of it. It didn't feel like something that happened to him. He could see it, feel it, know every single detail about how it felt, but it felt distant and like a stranger.

"Hello? Earth to Calum?" Ashton interrupted his memory and Calum focused in on the boy's hazel eyes and curly honey blond hair. "What do you remember?"

"Um." The memory of dream Calum was still fresh in his mind, but it wasn't him. What was him? "Going to my first boxing tournament." That felt like him, and Calum could remember it like it was yesterday. It felt like it was yesterday and it just happened.

"Fuck." Calum breathed. "Don't tell me I got knocked out on my first torment?"

"You didn't." It wasn't Ashton who spoke that time. It was pastel boy. His voice laced with sadness and that hope that was in his eyes earlier was gone. Gone and replaced by disappointment and sadness. Calum didn't like that. His entire body just wanted to pull him into a hug and promise that everything will be alright and to keep his chin up. "You won. Your first torment was a year ago. And your second was supposed to be three days ago but-" The boy choked out a sob. He stood up suddenly and ran out the room.

"Michael!" Ashton yelled after him. His hand reaching out to grab the boy's wrist, but was a second too late. Once again the older boy was chewing on his bottom lip, looking at the door and then at Calum.

"I'll go talk to him. Stay with Calum." The tall lanky blond spoke softly and left the room to follow after the pastel boy.

It was just Ashton and Calum left now. His oldest friend sat where Michael had been second before and rested his head in his hands. "You really don't remember anything else?" His head raised enough to look at Calum.

With a shake of his head, Calum watched as Ashton ran hand through his hair. He leaned back into the hospital chair. "I guess I have a lot of explaining to do now."

-

Luke found Michael curled up in a remote corner of the hospital, a couple nurses walking past and asking if he was alright, but Luke stepped in and said that he'd was having a rough day.

The nurses left, sympathetic looks on their faces as Luke crouched down in front of Michael.

Michael was a wreck, which wasn't far off from what he'd been the past week, but at least he had hope. Now all that hope had been dashed away. Leaving the boy desperately tugging at his lilac hair, his breathing erratic, rocking back and forth, all while saying over and over "It's all my fault."

Luke's eyes prickled with tears. He'd only seen Michael in this state a couple times and he wished he never had to see it again. "Mikey, love, breath for me okay? Copy my breaths."  
Luke breathed slowly, in and out. In and out. Michael copying as well as he could until they were in sync. "That's it, love. Just keep breathing."

"It's my fault. It's all my fault." Michael mumbled, tears streaming down his face. But his breathing was controlled and his hands in Luke's. Really his whole body on top of Luke as he just kept mumbling that it was his fault.

Luke just held on tightly to the smaller boy. Whispering comforting words into his ear and reminding him to breath.

"He's going to be okay right? He woke up, that's a good sign." Michael's voice was small, filled with worry. "If he's not okay then- then it's my fault."

"Mikey, everything will fine. Calum's a fighter. He can get through this." Luke wiped away tears from Michael's puffy eyes with a comforting smile. "I know he'll be okay. I promise."

"He's going to hate me when he remembers. If I had just been able-"

"Shh." Luke silenced Michael. Holding the boy closely and gently rubbing his back. "Calum's not going to hate you. We both know him, he'd do anything to protect you."

"But he's in the hospital because of me! I should've been able to protect myself, I should've tried to help. I should've done something. But I just lied there." Michael's tears came back full force and sobs wracked his body. "I should've done something."

"You called 911. If you hadn't called when you did Calum would be dead." Luke reminded him softly.

"If I hadn't called him he wouldn't have been almost dead! It should be me in there! It should've been me in a coma. It should've been me who almost died!" Michael yelled, his eyes flashing with anger and he punched against Luke's chest. The blond boy winced. The punches were weak, but Michael's desperate tone and words stung. The stung right to Luke's heart.

Luke tilted Michael's head up so the boy would have no choice but to look at him. "It's. Not. Your. Fault." He said slowly, fire behind his eyes. "If it's anyone's fault it's theirs. Theirs for being jealous bastards. Theirs for coming after you. Theirs for beating Calum. Theirs for knocking you out so you couldn't help even if you wanted to. You held on long enough to call 911. You were the one here everyday waiting for Calum to wake up so he wouldn't be alone. You saved Calum. So don't fucking blame yourself. It's not your fault.

"Calum knew what he was getting himself into when you called. Calum was terrified when he got the call and wouldn't tell me or Ashton anything that was going on.

"So don't beat yourself up over it. Calum wouldn't want you too." Luke finished his speech, the fire still in his eyes. Michael had lost all his fight two seconds in and tears kept streaming down his face.

"C-Can we go back and see Calum?" He mumbled softly. Within a second both boys were on their feet. Michael leaned heavily against Luke. Exhaustion taking over him. He had barely eaten or slept the past week and his freak out took what little energy he had left, but he needed to see Calum again. He need to know for sure that the boy was alright before he took care of himself.

The walked slowly back to Calum's room. The light coffee skinned boy sitting up on his bed. He listened intently to Doctor Thawn in the room.

Michael and Luke only caught the tail end of it. Bruised ribs, concussion, and temporary amnesia. Calum needed to stay in the hospital a more couple days for surveillance.

The doctor turned to Michael and started checking him over again. "How are you feeling?"

"Exhausted and hungry, but the headache is gone." Michael answered honestly, still leaning against Luke.

Doctor Thawn nodded and walked out of the room. Michael glanced over at Calum. The boy's eyebrows were furrowed and his brown eyes staring at Michael.

"Are you okay?" His voice was laced with concerned. "Do you need to sit?" Calum was already scooting over in his bed and patting the open space for Michael and if Michael knew anything. It was that Calum didn't take no for an answer.

Instead, Michael nodded gratefully and pulled away from Luke. His eyesight blurred and started to disappear while his body shook and felt weak and ready to collapse at any second. Luke's arm was right back around him keeping him up as he helped him to the side of the bed.

"I think- I think I'm finally going to sleep now." His voice soft and far off. His body curled up into the fetal position and within seconds soft snores left his lips.

Luke exhaled a deep sigh and sat down on the arm rest next to Ashton. "Finally he's sleeping. I don't think he's slept all week."

"That's dangerous for his health, he shouldn't go that long without sleeping." Calum mumbled, staring at the boy sleeping next to him. He looked so much younger sleeping. Like he could barely be sixteen. Somehow Calum knew that the pastel boy was twenty, he didn't really know anything about this boy but he knew that he was twenty, hated horror movies, loved anime, and studied video game design.

"That's Mikey for you though." Luke commented, his blue eyed gaze also on the sleeping boy. "I'll bet he couldn't sleep with all the blame and stress he was putting himself under."

"Blame?" Both Ashton and Calum asked, but a second later Ashton gasped. "No. Please tell me he didn't blame himself for everything!"

"My fault, all my fault. Calum. N-No. Calum." Michael mumbled in his sleep, tossing and turning. The three boys watched with frowns. Calum took action and pulled the boy to his side. Like his dream self he lightly played with the boy's hair while watching closely as Michael started to calm down. His breathing steadied and hand clasped weakly onto the hospital gown Calum was wearing. "I'm sorry. So sorry." He whimpered, but stayed quiet after.

"Fuck, Mikey." Ashton breathed out. Tears rolling down his face. "He shouldn't blame himself. It wasn't his fault."

"I tried to tell him that, but it's Michael. He'll blame himself for years. Still blames himself for the time I broke my leg when we were seven after he suggested climbing a tree. Everyone said it wasn't he fault, but he still blamed himself." 

"Is there any way to make him feel better?" Calum asked softly. Meeting Luke's blue eyes for the first time that day. He saw the sadness in them that grew stronger as he shook his head.

"For this? I don't think there's anything we can really do besides what you're doing right now."

"There has to be something else." Calum mumbled to himself, breaking Luke's gaze to stare at the pastel boy in his arms. His hands stopping their movements in Michael's soft hair.

As soon as his hands stopped, Michael started whimpering. "Calum. Stay with me, please! Please, I can't do this without you."

A memory flashed through Calum's mind at that last sentence, the two of them at a theme park, waiting in line for a ride. Michael bouncing on his feet in excitement as they were almost to their turn, just three more carts to fill.

The pastel boy's green eyes were bright and filled with life as they looked wildly between the short line in front of them and Calum.

A worker called out for any single riders and Calum playfully bumped Michael's hip. "You could claim to be a single rider and abandon me in this line." He joked, a smile present on his lips.

Michael turned to look at him, his forest green eyes rolling. "Please, I couldn't do this without you." He then slung an arm around Calum and a pressed a kiss to his cheek. "We're in this adventure together! You're my riding buddy! I won't ride with anyone but you." A giggle escaped his pink plump lips. With a what seemed to be the boy's best seductive gaze he whispered "I also won't ride anyone but you."

Calum raised an eyebrow at the boy's words and a loud giggle escaped past his lips. His entire body going back to it's normal happy carefree self. "I'm pretty sure you haven't ridden anyone, Mikey."

"How would you know? Maybe I'm not as innocent as I seem." The boy grumbled with the cutest pout.

Calum poked his bottom lip with a soft chuckle. "Because last time you were drunk you told me you were pure virgin. If a villain needed a virgin to commit their evil plots, you'd be the first one they kidnapped."

"I was drunk, maybe I lied." Michael weakly defended.

"So if I take you to a bathroom stall and blow you, you won't come in three minutes like a teenager who's never had sex?" Calum asked with a raised eyebrow.

Michael grumbled under his breath that he'd last five minutes at least. "Uh huh, keep telling yourself that, little Mikey. Let's see how long you really last when you get your first blowjob."

Calum was pulled out from this memory by the very boy in it. This Michael was in a nightmare, Calum started moving his hand through the boy's hair again, trying to get him to calm down again, but it wasn't working.

"Don't leave! Calum, please. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" The boy cried out, tears streaming down his face. 

"Mikey, shh. It's okay, I'm not going anywhere" Calum whispered into Michael's ear. Hoping his words would calm the nightmare. "I'm right here. You have nothing to apologize for."

"My fault. It's my fault." Michael whimpered in pain.

"Shh, my flower, it's not your fault. I promise." Calum didn't know where the nickname came from, but it felt right. It felt familiar. "Flower, listen to me. I'm not going anywhere. Couldn't make me go anywhere if you tried."

Another memory flashed through Calum's head.

Michael all smiles and giggles with a pink flower crown atop his head. A dark blue one in his hands as he pouted up at Calum with his perfected puppy dog eyes. "C'mon, just wear it for me? We don't even have to leave the apartment! I just wanna see you in a flower crown."

Calum's folded arms dropped as he gave up trying to resist Michael's puppy dog eyes. "Couldn't make me go anywhere if you tried." He mumbled, but the pastel boy took it as his chance to place the flower crown atop of Calum's raven colored curls.

Michael's eyes sparkled like emeralds as he adjusted the crown and took a step back to admire the boy. The biggest smile etched onto his face and that made it all worth it for Calum. He loved seeing his Michael happy.

His Michael and no one else's. Calum loved this boy with all his heart and soul. He'd give up anything to keep him safe and sound.

Calum left this memory and looked down at Michael slowly calming down in his hold. He looked up at Ashton and Luke, who were staring back with wide eyes and jaws dropped.

"You're remembering aren't you?" Luke asked, his voice silent, almost not daring to voice that hope. Hope for Calum to remember, hope that Michael would smile again soon. A small nod from Calum confirmed all those hopes.

"We'll leave you two some time alone and get food for when he wakes up." Luke mumbled, a smile on his face as he held out his hand for Ashton to take.

"Get some good dragon roll sushi. Mikey likes it." Calum softly requested. The two nodding before leaving the room. Leaving Calum to relive the memory of his and Michael's first date.

It was the first time he'd seen the boy in anything other than over sized sweaters or geeky shirts. Instead he was in a fitted band tee with a red flannel over it, black skinny jeans that looked like they'd been sprayed on, a snapback over his lilac hair, and black combat boots.

It was both Michael and not Michael. Calum wasn't necessarily complaining about the new look, but why did he have this new look?

"Is this too much or not enough? Should I go back and dress up more?" Michael eyes shined with worry, but Calum interlocked one of his pale hands with his own.

"You look amazing, it's just different and confused me for a second." Calum smiled softly, but Michael's fears still were resting.

"Really. I can got change. I don't know where we're going so I tried to look a bit nicer, but if it's super fancy I can change!" Michael turned to go back into his apartment, but Calum tugged him back.

"You look amazing, I promise. We're not going to a super high class restaurant. What you're wearing is great." Calum reassured him and led the boy down to his car.

"Where are we going?" Michael asked, curiously and excitement now in his voice as Calum drove them through the city.

Calum shook his head with a soft chuckle, "I'm not telling! That would ruin the surprise."

"But-"

"Trust me, you'll love it." Calum knew Michael would love it. The boy has been going on about wanting to try sushi and Japanese food for months, but with college and money, he never had the ability to go.

Calum had been saving up for special occasions, ones that were normally passing a final or winning a match, but this was more special than either of those. Michael was so special and he didn't even see it.

The drive to the restaurant wasn't that long, but when they were almost there Calum asked Michael to close his eyes. The boy put up a small protest, but went with it anyway. Calum had better puppy dog eyes than him.

"Okay," Calum said, leading Michael out of the car and facing him to open his eyes and see the store. "You can look now."

The moment Michael's forest green eyes opened, there were sparkling. It was like being in a forest with the sun peaking through the gaps in the leaves. Only Michael's smile could be described as a sun. It was bright, beautiful.

Second later, Calum was stumbling back with the weight of Michael on him. The boy continually repeating two words, thank you.

"Let's go experience some sushi." Calum said with a laugh, Michael readily agreeing.

Their date went pretty well, the only thing going a little out of plan was the sushi Michael ordered, he didn't really like. But Calum thought they were decent and Michael really loved Calum's dragon roll, so they switched.

Michael thanked Calum for switching many times, but Calum shrugged it off. Michael deserved and amazing first experience with sushi and a great date.

At the end of that date, the pastel boy was so happy and full of smiles that everything was worth it. Calum pressed a quick chaste kiss to the boy's cheek before saying goodnight. The pink tint that appeared on Michael's cheeks, the giggle that escaped his mouth, and the soft touch of his cheek after Calum's lips left were all so cute. Michael had to be the cutest person Calum ever met.

Back into the present, Calum had actually fallen asleep next to the pastel boy. But a pained whimper from the boy woke him up. Calum met Michael's gaze. The forest green eyes that Calum loved so much where filled with hurt, sadness, guilt, pain. His small pale hand reached up and lightly touched Calum's temple.

"Mikey." Calum spoke softly, his arms going to wrap around the smaller boy. "It's not your fault."

The boy shook his head, "But it is." He brought his hand back down. Tears threatening to spill. "It's my fault you're hurt. I was so scared. I should've called 911 first, maybe you wouldn't be hurt."

"It's not your fault, flower." A sad smile crossed Michael's lips from the pet name. "I promise it's not."

"You were in a coma." He muttered, the smile falling. "I thought I was going to lose you. I can't lose you. It should've been me. I should've been in a coma." Michael whimpered, clutching to Calum.

"Michael," Calum said softly, Michael's eyes looking up to meet his. "It was never going to be you. I'd risk my life over and over if it meant keeping you safe. I don't care if I'm a little banged up, I get a little banged up all the time. The important thing is you're okay. I love you and I'm never going to let anything ever happen to you. I promise."

Tears spilled from Michael's eyes, but by the sparkle in the boy's eyes, Calum knew they were happy tears. Calum gently wiped them away. A laugh leaving Michael. "Damn, I've been crying so much today."

"You've had a hard week, I think you're allowed to cry." Calum commented with a smile.

"Fuck, I love you so much." Michael buried his face into the space between Calum's shoulder and neck. Breathing in the hospital smell that was clinging to his skin, but there was also Calum. Unmistakable Calum. He was safe and there with Michael. Everything would be okay.

"Is your moment over? Can we announce food is here?" Luke asked, his head peaking in the door. Calum laughed, but Michael just continued to hide in Calum.

"Lukey, I think we ruined the moment just a little." Ashton commented, handing Calum his and Michael's containers of food.

Luke shrugged, "We could've come in earlier and interrupted Calum's speech." He pointed out and Ashton shrugged at that.

"Maybe you could leave us so we can go back to that moment and I can kiss my boyfriend?" Michael's voice muffled for half the sentence, but he looked up for food. Making grabby hands for his.

Calum handed it over with a chuckle and pressed a chaste kiss to Michael's cheek. "Kiss me later. Apparently you barely ate this week."

Michael blushed and stuck his bottom lip out in a mock pout. "I've had to go a week without my boyfriend and then an afternoon where he didn't remember me. I think I'm allowed one proper kiss."

"Ooh, I think you should be allowed a blow job at least." Luke interrupted, only to squeak when Ashton elbowed him. "What was that for?"

"Stop meddling in their relationship." Ashton ordered, Luke only smirking and leaning close to Ashton's ear, whispering something that nether Calum or Michael wanted to hear. Ashton pulled the blond boy and their share of the food out a second later, leaving Calum and Michael alone.

Michael looked at Calum with playful green eyes as he got a piece of his dragon roll. "If you didn't have bruised ribs, I'd want that blow job." He commented before putting the sushi in his mouth.

Calum raised an eyebrow, "My ribs don't affect my sex skills and I have a private bathroom." Michael choked and sputtered on his food. A loud laugh escaped Calum. "Eat first, flower. Then maybe we'll see about that blow job."

**Author's Note:**

> okay i hope you enjoyed this fic i'm going to go write more things. who knows what they will be (probably a pretty face update honestly)!!! and if you wanna hmu for any reason my tumblr is malumqt.


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